Wednesday, May 16, 2007

American Idol.... Ruined!!!!

I am going to say this only once and be done with it. I do not hold grudges nor do I exile people out of my little world if they fuck me over, but some things cannot be forgiven. Mandi got me into this American Idol shit a couple years back. I got hooked on the Season that found Carrie Underwood win the final. I watched that whole season through it all and with the exception of a couple of eye catching cuts from the show it went as it should have. Carrie was by far the best singer as Bo had the best personality. Two seasons ago it was a singing compeitition and it shows. Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood are Grammy winners. Carrie Underwood’s first album is still in the Top 100 as it should be.

Last year, American Idol showed it’s age and forecasted it’s own demise. Maybe as its popularity grows, it brings out even the compulsive, psycho, slumming people that wouldn’t know a good singer from their next bag of smack. But as last year unfolded you couldn’t help but week after week cringe at which less talented singer would stay as a great singer would go. OK, Taylor Hicks was good. Sure, he had the personality. He sang the old school, I grew up on but.... Was he really the best out there? No. Elliot Yamin... Maybe. Kathryn McPhee... Yes. Chris Daughtery... Very Good and very marketable. If you include the whole package... If the moronic American people would really watch, listen, and think, Chris probably should have taken home the crowd--- Maybe. If parents would influence their kids in what real talent is and tell them that just because he has a trendy blond mohawk it does not mean the guy is talented. Yet they continue to let their two fourteen year old girls hike their cell phone bills up with 70 text votes a piece on somebody that completely sucks, musically. Daughtery last year was voted off fourth. Yes, were the real people, the people that knew what American Idol was looking for, upset? Of course they were, but I was sure and said that, "he’s got nothing to worry about. Somebody will produce his album and he’ll have the best selling album of any of the other three." Was I right? Of course I was. I’m one of those guys that really looks and votes for the cream of the crop. Where are Taylor and Kathryn? Kathryn’s album tanked. Taylor’s... Well it didn’t sell the superstar units that past winners, Kelly and Carrie did, but I think he did alright even with that suckhead ’Are You Proud of Me’ song. He’ll fall into that ’Easy Listening’ category like Rueben did in Gospel and sooner than later be an obscure name kind of like you and I’s. I wasn’t completely disappointed though. I liked Taylor. He was an entertainer and with Daughtery out I was able to swallow Taylor beating out Elliot and Kathryn.

This season came and when the final 12 were picked I was already unenthused. San-Fucko beat out Sundance which was the first miscarriage of justice of the season and it set the pace for the rest of the season. As more musically inclined singers were voted off and San Fucko stayed I grew more pissed. Not to say that Gina, Hayley, or Brandon had any chance to win the Idol Prize, but the weeks they were voted off, they lost to San-Fucko who had no talent at all stayed. Why? I mean it got to the point where Simon literally said, "well let’s try another way... It was great," in a sarcastic tone. Why was he immune to the proverbial ’see ya?’ It must of been his ’good looks.’ There’s another show on the CW for that kind of talent... It’s called ’America’s Next Top Model.’ Again, Gina, Brandon and the others may not have been the best, but the week they lost out, had Sanjaya been voted off, might would have given them another week to turn it all around and may have lasted longer in the compeitition. Sanjaya’s good looks finally caught up with him and he was voted off. What nobody realized is that the time he spent on the show caused a lot of Collateral Damage, and the show suffered from it, meaning that the rest of the season would be altered because of the unjustified text votes. This situation would set up too late in the game, the men’s beauty pageant between Chris and Blake, who both should have been gone in weeks 5 & 6. A couple of weeks went without incident. Phil should’ve have been gone much sooner than Gina or Brandon for that matter, but he were ousted nonetheless. Then LaKisha was voted off fourth to last. The lucky number four that Daughtery had been just a mere year earlier. I hope, (since she should have been in that covenant and fateful third slot from last night,) that her career will take off. She along with Melinda and Jordan were the only talented singers left when the smoke cleared in the final six. The 311 beatboxing Backstreet Boy should have well probably never escaped the Top 8. Which brings me to the whole reason I had to Rant about this.

You American Idol Junkie/Morons... You have ruined this SINGING COMPETITION with an obviously lack of knowledge of what real talent is. This show is not a talent, personality, looks compeitition. Sure there is the whole ’entertainer,’ ’showman’ and ’singer’ aspect needing to be considered, but when you are picking merely on how you feel or how ’good’ that contestant looked from week to week, you ruin a good thing. Of course, that is why America is so fucked up to begin with. We know how to ruin a good thing and you guys did it last night. You fuckin’ blew it and have ruined American Idol for me forever. I will not watch another minute of that debacle. You say Simon is an asshole. You want to know why he is an asshole? Because he can be. He apparently is the only one that really knows what he’s talking about and what the reality is. After last night and the whole Sanjaya thing, I will not be surprised if he does not return to AI next year if they even decide to do it again. (If they do they really need to reevaluate the voting process.) As Melinda Doolittle was voted out of the finale last night to an undeserving Blake Lewis, Simons hands went over his face and his eyes shifted back and forth because he like me knew, American Idol would never be the same show it was three years ago. He knew that his love child was now a convicted felon. The show would no longer be an accurate or pure way to find the undiscovered talented singers out there. Before last night, I actually could not wait to see the final duel between two great singers in Melinda and Jordan. I had picked Melinda as my favorite from all the way back to her audition and like the judges said, "you have been consistent each week. You are a pro and should already be making records." Paula on Tuesday night, said that one of her performances was the best of hers all season and Simon said, "Yet another brilliant performance." OK, so if she was the most consistent and by far was and even sang her best performance of the year the night before the final vote off, how the fuck did she get voted off? Some would say, nobody voted for her because she was a sure win. Others would say that Blake had every girl from 9-40 voting on him because "he is was so cute." Either way, yes Jordan belongs where she is and now, (if there is any justice or brains for that matter at all,) she should and will win AI. She’s seventeen and can belt with the best of them, but Melinda should be there with her sharing in the spotlight because, honestly she was the best. Sure she was older but thats how it goes. Melinda’s paid her dues and has grown with experience and training, but when Seacrest said it was the end of the road for her last night, I sat stunned as did Simon and I am sure many other true to form viewers in America did. I watched her montage with that gay ’Home’ song playing and immediately following the last frame cut the television off. That spark of AI was over for me. I remember not many moons ago when I couldn’t wait to get home from work, cook dinner and sit in front of the boob tube and watch some good looking, fantastically talented musicians belt it out for the biggest prize in the world today. Now with it’s oversaturated publicity and bandwagon schmucks out there voting for their favorite merely because of what kind of mood they were in that day, the fun is over. In the words of the one of the greatest songs ever recorded, "The Thrill is Gone."

I will never watch American Idol again. That is a fact. It is not like my past promises like, "I’m never smoking again." That is statement to me is exactly what it means. I will never watch that show again and do not be surprised to see Simon bowing out after this year. He obviously along with me is the only other one that sees the rotting trend happening. I am sure Melinda’s career will blossum and maybe, just maybe the third spot was the lucky number this year whereas in a year from now, Melinda’s album will be pumping out profits from her fourth number one song from her debut album while Blake, like his favorite band 311, will be the result in yet another ’alternative slash hip hop’ fatality. All I will say as I never speak of this show again, is when Melinda, Blake and Jordan’s albums come out, I am going to empty my savings and campaign, (in the streets if I have to,) to get Melinda’s album bought. I will buy thirty to forty albums myself and pass them out to the masses just to prove my point if needs be.

My point and believe me, I am the poster boy for this statement: It does not matter how good you are. It does not matter how hard you work. It doesn’t matter how much determination you have. If you don’t look as good as the other guy and don’t have as many friends. YOU WILL LOSE!!!!!

Fuck American Idol. Fuck it square in its ass. Simon, holla’. We’ll start a real show and not allow the American Public to taint it with their obvious delusions of what really makes a superstar.

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