There’s been a lot of speculation as to what Garrick has been doing for the past five months. My close friends will tell you, I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I’ve heard my OCD has gotten the best of me and I’m afraid to leave my house. I’ve heard I’m off the wagon, indulging on stimulants and all night edits. I’ve even heard that I’m back with my wife and am afraid to come out with it.
I’ve heard it all. Yes, my OCD has been in “rare form,” lately as the stress of my business growing in leaps and bounds has begin lingering like the flu. It is still nothing I cannot handle even if there are days I clean the house twice. The other reasons are not even close.
The truth is: For years I reveled in being in the limelight and finding a way to somehow be the center of attention even going so far as to get myself in trouble just to make “headlines.” I spent years trying to keep that image up and it was exhausting. I ruined relationships, friendships and my background slip being “that guy.” I loved parties and making appearances. It wasn’t me. It was my quest for acceptance after a long stint at a boarding school where too, I didn’t fit in so well.
It may be “shoddy” of me to say, but I get quite annoyed with the bullshit talk over beers or the late night card game. To me, it’s counter productive. I’ve never owned a Playstation nor an XBox not because I don’t think it’s cool, but I just feel there are other things I can be doing with my time.
I’m 36 and I’ve had my fun. I’ve had my women. I’ve had my time in the limelight and now it’s time to get down to business of living the life I dreamed about having when I was simply screwing off and talking about it.
I’ve given many people opportunities to be a part of “my small little business,” only to be disappointed by the countless mistakes and excuses for the mistakes. I’ve squandered a ton of scratch paying people to allow me to fix and redo their mess over and over and continued to allow it because I felt a need to keep people working to survive this horrible economic state we are in.
What many people fail to realize is that I ate shit and took it on my knees for over eight years for no pay, no respect and no “perks,” with absolutely no “help” from mentors, peers in the business, or any kind of avenue with the exception of the great Mike McDaniel in Orlando, Florida. The “Chi” wasn’t found for a long time and even then wasn’t handed to me. I had to bust my ass to get it, so looking at me with your hand out wanting something from me with your year of experience only shows me just how lazy people are in general.
You can sit in front of facebook and click the “LIKE” button all day and update your RSVP’s to a bunch of stuff that isn’t really relevant and feel good about the fact that “viral advertising,” is where it’s at if it helps you but let’s be honest. Facebook is a front. It is a lie. People don’t care what you’re doing or selling. The only way to get the “quwan” is to do it and do it well. That’s the only marketing you will ever need- Being great.
The only reason I’ve posted up everything on Facebook this last year is because I separated from my wife a year ago and lawyers use facebook to argue in court on custody of children. (THAT’S A FACT.) So posting up my every move was a way to document that I was a single father out there working his tits off to feed his kids.
You wanna’ do what I do? Get some gear and go do it. Learn how to shoot a camera and go take on scores you can handle. Don’t tell me you want to learn but put family bbqs, partying, girls and other crap in front of it.
With that said, I’ve been doing the same thing I was doing 4 years ago. Only now I’ve trimmed the fat. I have kids to feed and have to figure out how to continue doing what I love to do on a grander scale. Your money problems are not my problems. I’m not obligated to put you to work. I’m not obligated to come “hang out,” with you at some bar. I’m not obligated to do anything but be me. You want to find me: I’m at the office, in the park with the kids, on a business call, looking for a business loan, searching for a building to open a gym in, listening to music, playing the guitar,working out, planning a birthday party, doing laundry, researching the latest trends of my trade, and with a little luck finding time to write my next film.
I was in a relationship for seven years where every move I made, every decision I stuck to and every dream I had was scrutinized by people who fed on my failures. Everything I did was “aiming too high,” or “ignorant to do with kids,” so forgive me if for now I’m catching up on some ME time.
And as far as, “Garrick promised me this?”......
I didn’t promise you anything. I said, “Hey, I’m gonna go do this. You want to go?” It was up to you put forth the effort to keep up because as “arrogant” as it sounds, unfortunately I can do it without you. I would appreciate a little less judgement as to why Garrick is being a “dick.” I’m not a dick. Just living my life and doing it my way. You wanna’ spend sometime with me, put your work boots on and find me.