Tuesday, December 6, 2011

10 Rules

Ten Rules of a Video Camera. (The Most Basic)


1. Gain should always be on 0db

2. Don't EVER talk behind the camera.... (Unless it's warranted AND don't yell or be drunk)


4. Avoid "Milky"/"Grainy" shots

5. Don't shoot a conversation from behind the subjects where.... like you are shooting the back of their heads

6. Make sure your audio is on and a little more advanced than that.... Make sure it's good.

7. Stay on a shot even if it sucks for more than 4 seconds

8. Panning shots don't work if you don't have a point A and B.

9. Zoomed all the way in with hand held shots... Ummmm.... Not a good idea if you suck at it.




IF YOU CAN'T RUN CAMERA.............. DON'T.

Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Minimalistic Inspiration in Complex Troubled Times

(I have omitted the bio of who I am, as anybody reading this knows, who I am.)

The world of production in the life of Garrick Lane had been somewhat frantic from July to the beginning of October. Hanging on by a thread in all categories of his life he says, his work maybe at the very end of the thread. Where he felt he was rushing through and "half assing" his shows, he was being told he was doing his best work to date. Yet the money was scarce, so was the time he had. By mid August, he was looking for ways to break his fingers so that he wouldn't have to edit. The projects were backing up but his burn out was going ahead as planned.

"I could not so much, as remember what I liked about this work. I felt that because of where I was geographically, on top of the evil economic blizzard we were all freezing through, there was no reason to continue trying to do this for a living. My personal life had taken a turn and I just suddenly realized that the rockstar lifestyle I had lived since my wife and I split may not accomodate the situation that may end up being, so maybe it was time to hang it up and become a Regular Joe," Garrick explained.

He had a point. Corporate America had all but abolished the smaller production companies by craiglisting any film student with a camera to go out and shoot templated, "stock" internet videos promoting a company's business and because of the big name, big business cloaks they hid behind with their social media status' and lingo would lure these small companies into big money contracts yet pay the videographer/editor minimal next to the company employers who simply sat behind a desk and made phone calls.

"They took the art out of the artist. They buried the creativity in what we do, by placing a mandatory format on an unorthodox medium," Garrick went on to say. "There was no beating the system. There IS no beating the system. The Yellow Pages do not take videos that are not produced by their own contractors, meaning, a company can not come to me and say, we want a better video than the ones these guys are producing so we want to hire you because I have to tell them that I can't if the yellow page search engines is where they want it to end up."

The end was near he felt. The run was over and why not, he wasn't big enough to be placed on the advertising agency lists and the calls for the big jobs out of state were not incoming anymore because budgets began to dwindle as the recession worsened, leaving the line item of "travel expense," out of the equation.

Garrick found himself at trucking docks applying for ten dollar an hour jobs and getting them but realizing that it would never be enough. He found himself begging friends for a normal job, in which they all turned him away, because like they all knew, there was no profession they would be able to tolerate their friend doing besides the one he had been working on for twenty years.

"Times were confusing. Life was at a stand still for the first time that I could remember."

Then a break. A call from a gentleman at a Nashville production company that was responsible for producing some of the rising country music talent's videos. A meeting would be planned for late October with no avail of what would be offered if anything. It was in fact at the time, (and still is,) the best thing he had on his plate and if nothing else, hope.

Then an epiphany elsewhere, or maybe a risk that would ruin him, his credit and his life forever. The last risk he took had paid off even if comparing it to those troubled days in late summer of 2011 was short lived.

"It was quit or expand. It was that simple," Garrick said with nearly a concerned if not worried look on his face.

With a blessing from his mentor and only opinion that had ever mattered, his father, Garrick complicated his life by taking the loan. A big loan that would make or break it all. If he did not succeed, all of his assets would be liquidated leaving him only with what he started in 1996 with: His blue pencil and steno pad.

The loan was not an easy decision. He had to choose whether to limit his arsenal and sink money into advertising or put the advertising on hold and bulk up his equipment list hoping the equipment list would lead to bloated budgeted jobs which would then lead to more profit to advertise.

"I was ordering my girlfriend flowers on a plane to LA and somehow, I decided in the midst of deciding which bouquet to buy which way I was going to go. Yeah, kind of weird. Flowers, Camera Gear, Camera Gear, Flowers, don't know the connection."

He opted for the asset route deciding to take on the advertising with the first couple of bigger productions he was going to use his reputation to get. Three days later, the equipment was ordered before he had left his business in Los Angeles.

"Upon returning, I went straight to my girlfriends house. I remember being so scared but trying really hard to keep her from knowing considering her future if I had anything to do with it, was going to be a part of the decision I had just made," Garrick jokingly stated."I remember walking into my house the next morning and just turning to my edit bay in the corner of the big room and staring at it for a minute. I knew from this moment on, I would have to do something to get rid of the funk."

Garrick had built on an extra room at his house as his office refusing to bloat his business account with added overhead that was never needed. What he did not do is plan the room very well. Garrick had no vampire blood in his body. He commented that if he could live in a glass house with no shades on the windows and get away with it, he would. The new room was dark, carpeted, with merely one window. The track lighting assisted in illumination but the corner where his desk was might as well had been a dark rubber room.

"I thought.... This is the problem. It just came to me. It was my surroundings that were affecting my concentration, inspiration and drive."

The house had to be dealt with immediately. His list of To-Dos from his better half had already consumed an additional expo board on the refrigerator but Garrick bypassed those as it wasn't long after his return from LA and his "intervention," that him and his girlfriend had decided to step back a bit due to reasons Garrick refuses to discuss.

The thought was simple even if it made no sense. Garrick's children were now no longer full time at his house as they were three months prior. He had gone from Full Time Dad to Disney Land Weekend Dad nearly overnight so his kids were only there on the weekends which were normally consumed by birthday parties, cook outs and anything but sitting inside. Garrick had realized switching the addition room with the living room would actually be (although not aesthetically pleasing,) exactly what the doctor ordered. The living room had wood floors and one wall was nothing but window with the opposite side of the room being a sliding glass door leading to an open back porch.

With all his expansion money used he would have to slowly build his office into something of a control room. With the newest fastest editing tower on the market in route to his house, his plan was to basically renovate his house to accomodate for the change. The rooms were gutted. Furniture was destructed to be removed. Within three days his garage had become an image you would see on a re-run of Sanford and Son.

He put his field edit bay on the kitchen table facing the sliding glass door and sat down in a wooden dining chair and began trying to reconnect with his inner demons.

"I would edit at that table until my ass hurt, then go to the gym and come back and sit on the couch and bid for jobs. Then I would repeat the process eliminating the gym the second and third time through."

Slowly but surely he found a rhythm. Work began to get finished again but monies still thirty day net away from his grasp so renovation resources were not at the top of the list.

"So my bedroom was gutted, the old office gutted, and my living room gutted. There was literally a sofa, an old desk that would not fit a Nintendo console on it and a light on the floor in this room."

Televisions had all but been removed from the house months before with the exception of one in the kids room strictly for movies. Garrick as complex of a man he was, had never delved in luxuries such as LCD televisions, X Boxes, or fancy appliances. That lack of complexity was about to reach another level.

With the shows being approved one after another the work load was getting too much for one editing bay, so despite the new desks, second and third playback monitors not being at the top of the order list as Garrick climbed out of the financial trench, the new edit bay would have to be utilized. He had been doing all of his editing on his 15 inch MacBook Pro on the kitchen table because it was easy to pack up and move for family time and food when the kids were there. He was doing all his business from his juice stained sofa, feet away on his 13 inch MacBook Pro with his email and Skype account. These were easy machines to move out of harms way. Bringing in a tower, one that cost as much as a car, was risky until the proper furniture was allocated, but it wasn't long before Garrick realized he had no choice. He set up the Ferrari of a editing system on that small desk with its feet dangling over each edge. With not enough room to even add a second monitor Garrick threw the system to the wolves. Without the new electrical situation handled he had to also literally run a drop chord from the hallway to power this piece of machinery. He was smart to place the computer in the center of the wall so it could also pose as a TV for the kids' movie time.

This computer would now be the main editing bay with the lap top being the delivery, mastering, and uploading device for the time being.

Within all this, the work began piling up as much as it was going out which led to yet a third editing bay being utilized only this time, Garrick cleared his artist desk and rolled it to the corner of the room and placed his older system in there so he could go from one to the other if a client called for recuts. Now, money was rolling in but there was no time to go furniture shopping or even fathom the idea of taking a couple days off to paint, furnish and wire his new "office," or his room or refurbish his new room. He was spending what little time he had with his girlfriend on their new policy of "less is more," working out and being Dad but during work hours, it was from kitchen chair to wooden stool to sofa in a bare room where you had to watch your step of the sea of drop chords and surge protectors that riddled the floor.

"I had almost gotten used to this minimalistic approach to my work. It was like being back in college with my edit bay in the floor of my bedroom. One monitor. One tower and a DV deck. It had almost left no distractions."

Garrick then went another step in losing his distractions by dropping his facebook and other social networking tools he had once used to occupy self-promotion only leaving his twitter account because in his words, "there was no not tweeting in his future." The website reconstruction, press packs, design had been put on the back burner as it had became strictly shooting and editing. The turnaround went from 6 weeks to 3 with minimal recuts being requested.

Bigger Contracts began to call again. Old clients called for more of Garrick's magic that kept him in a holding pattern on his plans to renovate or make the office functional. The days passed. The wooden chair got harder and harder but nothing changed the steady and consistent workflow.

Then a setback, that ended up being one of the best things that had happened. At the peak of this marathon run, Garrick had literally cut three shows in three days, delivered 4 spots to various television stations, written his script for his next short film venture, put in place a new design for his company's website and single handedly booked a gig on everyday of the month of November... Well, minus 4 days. Last minute a show in Florida had been postponed leaving Garrick 4 unclaimed days that had not for once been used for even backup days for another show. It was a perfect time to do what he really needed to do, which was finally put the office back together and make it what some people would call efficient again. Garrick ignored that idea pulling a film he shot 3 years ago out of the moth balls and had not in all that time been able to allot for concentrated time to cut it. Maybe a lot due to the editing fatigue he had been experiencing for the past two years. Only Garrick knows, but not this week, for he sits in his empty room on a break watching a movie on his laptop that is resting on the arm of his sofa while he eats chicken and vegetables on a plate resting on a stool. One editing bay exporting a recut of of an ESPN pilot, the other, half way through a rough cut of his film, Another Night In America.

"I know this minimalistic lifestyle can't last forever but for now it's working and I almost don't want to change it. I have wings for the first time since last April. Things are meshing."

Breaks consist of eating or getting back to the guitar which during the burn out was never so much as touched.

"It's like I've escaped the normal routine for this hotel room some where, cut off from the real world, even though I haven't gone anywhere. I come in here, cut my phone on silent, sit on this viciously uncomfortable chair and blow through my obligations. The intergrity in my work has never been better. The work is real. It is almost organic and I look forward to doing it again. I don't want to change a thing right now. In two days, I will have for the first time, erased every show on my project expo board and that's a huge step in my company's growth."

And he has done it all himself. From Producing the show on his sofa to escaping to the real world to capture it on celluloid only quickly returning to his living room to cut and finish the magic, he is doing what some people have 6 employees and an oversized office full to do. In Garrick's office there are no cubicles, 70 inch plasma televisions, fancy business cards, or multiple facebook pages full of pretentious "likes." There are 3 computers in an empty room with a sofa, some light shining in and on the weekends The Lion King playing from the Millenium Falcon, (he has come to call the new Ferrari of an editing bay.)

"I'm going to enjoy this for as long as I can. If and when the better part of me decides she wants to complicate her life by moving in here.... This little setup will surely be first to go," Garrick laughs nearly falling off his stool.

Words and Pictures by FP

Monday, August 22, 2011

To Do

-I'm SOMEWHERE on my Phone

Thursday, August 18, 2011









AGE: 18-28









(It may sound sexist, but PLEASE be attractive. You have seen these videos before.... You know what we are looking for!)





Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Rap Video Treatment - September Shoot

No frills to my treatment writing, yet they continue to get passed through! Steno Pad and all!


Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Rap Video Treatment - September Shoot

No frills to my treatment writing, yet they continue to get passed through! Steno Pad and all!


Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Where It All Started....

$500, a dying format, a camera that was barely operational and one of the coldest nights of the year produced the film that gave me my first acclaim and paved the way for the fastest growing production company in the south east


Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Nine Years To Live - Update

It's been five maybe six months since I began the change of my "way of life." It' s been the best thing that's ever happened to me, although it's given plenty of everyday set backs as well.


In the grand scheme of things, I look 70 times better and feel 200 times better. I began at a soft pudgy 215 and now I'm a semi chiseled 195. Didn't want to drop that much weight. I wanted to "bulk up" but after trimming up and realizing how limber, quicker and stronger I was getting I quickly decided that lean and tight was better than "big and meaty." I'm 37, so now my knack for burning fat isn't near as efficient as it once was and big controlled forced burns of fat were hard to accomplish until about month four because I had smoked for so for so many years and just couldn't get very good quality cardio minutes without keeling over or barfing in the bathroom. Getting more than 20 minutes of cardio would probably have sent me into cardiac arrest.


I decided to compensate the lack of cardio use by cutting the calories to 4000, (down from 5000,) and utilized long steady sweats on the heavy bag and jump rope. I found this actually very effective as my waist line gradually began to shrink and as my waist line began to shrink, my cardio spurts got longer and longer until I was running 2 miles just to break a sweat. A lot of this I can contribute to Chuck Mason at Snap Fitness who showed me 3 easy exercises that would just blast your fat and continue to burn it even long after you left the gym. 


1) Jump Rope

2) Static Platform Leaps

3) Shadow Boxing with Bands


Within a month of doing this, I had more wind and noticed a huge difference in my body. Veins were popping out. Muscle fibers were visible even without flexing. It was the "result" everybody looks for to get them over the hump.


My diet, simple and redundant.



1.Protein Pancakes

2. Orange

3. Yogurt

4. Occasional eggs and liver mush



1.Turkey Burgers/Sandwich


3. Apple


Supplemental Meal

1. Protein Shake



1. 3 breasts of chicken/turkey sausage

2. Pasta/Veggies

3. Some of whatever the kids were having


My work out - 2 Muscle groups a day

Forearms and Abs once a week, sometimes twice.


I still have a long way to go and I'm not where I wanted to be at this point but nevertheless a very big improvement from where I was last October.


Now, here are some of the set backs and compromises, I have had to endure to get where I am....


1) Budget - My budget for this has become three times as bloated since before.


1)FOOD - I am having to keep the refrigerator stocked and had to plan my workouts to follow a meal because I have found if I don't have fuel my workouts suffer. I am also having to cook two dinners. One for the kids and one for me which has made me lock off more time to do so and more money to cover the "spread." Eating healthy costs about average $60.00 more a week than the old days of debauchery and fast food.


2)TIME - Killed me... When I have kids, I only get from 8am to 3:30pm and now I have them full time so it's grueling to keep any kind of routine besides theirs. I chose to go to Snap Fitness when I first made the plunge. (24 miles from my house,) This in itself has become a problem. My business has really picked and my work is deadline based so time to edit is 70% of my work and I don't get paid until I finish. With that said, I am sacrificing an already short work day. 


Including round trip, about two hours of my day. This not only over a week effects the time between paychecks but also cuts into time to do laundry, mow, clean house, and now five months in, (on the books,) I see it has really "disrupted," my workflow, finances and time.


3)Budget II-

With the price of gas sky rocketing to $4.00 a gallon the trip to the gym is not only eating up my time, but also eating up my dough. I'm spending nearly fifty dollars a week, I go 5 times a week just to get to the gym. Which breaks down to about $10 a day, I'm burning to get to the gym and back.


This right now is not working. I have the kids full time right now so my Budget at home is bloated and the cost of my "change of life," is costing me about the same, so my plan from here is continue with the building of the 9 Year Gym and actually work out from the house 3 days a week and go to the gym 2 days a week. I figure with the amount I am spending on gas going back and forth over the course of time will pay for the $2000 investment of the weights that I never bought, because for a little while it seemed more rational just to take my rump shaker to the facility. Now.... Not so much.... 


My work  out is that of a Boxers at this point. Toning, Stamina, Fat Burning, so your basic Run, Jump Rope, Heavy Bag cover the cardio and weight training is all 3 sets of long reps so it can be accomplished anywhere I can find about 90 - 130 pounds of weight minus the legs that obviously would be covered on my Gym Days.



Key Points of my Nine Years To Live:


1) Can not remember the last time I ate fast food.

2) My Energy levels are through the roof which means I'm able to utilize a lot more of time because I never sit and I never wear out.

3) My Mentality and attitude is largely improved which has shown in parenting, work, relationships.

4) Self-Esteem - Well.... I've never really had a problem with that, but I feel, it shows through on other people now. For instance, I'm taken more serious because when I walk in a room now, I look like I am "A Bad Ass," that takes good care of himself which in turn makes the "client" relieved.

5) The flexability, agility, and stamina I once had as a 14 year old is back.


6) I'm gonna' live forever. I'm never gonna' die..... Or at least I think that for the moment.


So I look ridiculous in this first picture but you can see the definition in my arms and chest that has formed and even my chicken neck is slowly disappearing.


The second picture-  ummmmm, would never happen or even dream of happening had I not chosen to work on my speed, reflex, stamina, flexability. 

Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A Statement On Pirating

I acquired a "pirated" copy of Foo Fighters' new album a week before its release. I was asked if I wanted it.... Of course I said yes. Not because I didn't want to pay for it, but because I wanted to listen to it in my car. The band was streaming the album on their website but I do so much driving a copy would be great for the car. 


BUT, I was first in line yesterday at Best Buy to actually purchase the CD, (see picture,) despite the fact I already had it. In my profession and many others, if we don't get paid for "our art," we can't do it. It's that simple. If people could still the videos I make then my kids would starve. Artists are paid for their work.


The Music Industry is much like mine. Artists are given an advance from the record company to pay for their album and pay their bills while they sink themselves into a studio to make their album. The advance rarely lasts more than five months. From there, they get a percentage or royalties of their record sales and live shows that they do and this is what they live on until the next album which could be a year or two later. Some bands are forced to add 20 to 40 grueling nights of live shows to stay a float. If people are not buying their album OR WORSE STEALING IT, they are not making any money. If people aren't going to see them live, they are not making any money.


With so many people IN TO MUSIC yet stealing it from the very artists they admire, the wheels of a better economy are not turning. It's simple mathematics. If everything is giving out for free then there is no return which means there's that much less money to put into the next album you "can't wait to hear," or better yet steal.


I'm proud to say, I've pissed away thousands and thousands of dollars on records, be it they sucked or have been masterpieces. I have 1300 actual purchased songs from iTunes alone. Yes, that money could have been used for many other things, but I have a stereo system in 5 of the 7 rooms in my house. Music is what keeps me moving and smiling. My daughter is 5 and jams to Wolfmother with me. It's the way we live. Music is a lifestyle in my household.  I would never steal it only see to it personally, it prospers. A song is .99 on Itunes. One dollar people..... An album is 14 bucks-- 3 Bud Lights and a tip at a bar. 


Keep the world going around..... BUY YOUR MUSIC. SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE BAND. DO NOT PIRATE YOUR MUSIC AND IF YOU DO, DON'T CALL YOURSELF "A BIGGEST FAN." Fans don't bite the hands that feed them.


Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Statement

There’s been a lot of speculation as to what Garrick has been doing for the past five months. My close friends will tell you, I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I’ve heard my OCD has gotten the best of me and I’m afraid to leave my house. I’ve heard I’m off the wagon, indulging on stimulants and all night edits. I’ve even heard that I’m back with my wife and am afraid to come out with it.


I’ve heard it all. Yes, my OCD has been in “rare form,” lately as the stress of my business growing in leaps and bounds has begin lingering like the flu. It is still nothing I cannot handle even if there are days I clean the house twice. The other reasons are not even close. 


The truth is: For years I reveled in being in the limelight and finding a way to somehow be the center of attention even going so far as to get myself in trouble just to make “headlines.” I spent years trying to keep that image up and it was exhausting. I ruined relationships, friendships and my background slip being “that guy.” I loved parties and making appearances. It wasn’t me. It was my quest for acceptance after a long stint at a boarding school where too, I didn’t fit in so well.


It may be “shoddy” of me to say, but I get quite annoyed with the bullshit talk over beers or the late night card game. To me, it’s counter productive. I’ve never owned a Playstation nor an XBox not because I don’t think it’s cool, but I just feel there are other things I can be doing with my time. 


I’m 36 and I’ve had my fun. I’ve had my women. I’ve had my time in the limelight and now it’s time to get down to business of living the life I dreamed about having when I was simply screwing off and talking about it.


I’ve given many people opportunities to be a part of “my small little business,” only to be disappointed by the countless mistakes and excuses for the mistakes. I’ve squandered a ton of scratch paying people to allow me to fix and redo their mess over and over and continued to allow it because I felt a need to keep people working to survive this horrible economic state we are in.


What many people fail to realize is that I ate shit and took it on my knees for over eight years for no pay, no respect and no “perks,” with absolutely no “help” from mentors, peers in the business, or any kind of avenue with the exception of the great Mike McDaniel in Orlando, Florida. The “Chi” wasn’t found for a long time and even then wasn’t handed to me. I had to bust my ass to get it, so looking at me with your hand out wanting something from me with your year of experience only shows me just how lazy people are in general.


You can sit in front of facebook and click the “LIKE” button all day and update your RSVP’s to a bunch of stuff that isn’t really relevant and feel good about the fact that “viral advertising,” is where it’s at if it helps you but let’s be honest. Facebook is a front. It is a lie. People don’t care what you’re doing or selling. The only way to get the “quwan” is to do it and do it well. That’s the only marketing you will ever need- Being great.


The only reason I’ve posted up everything on Facebook this last year is because I separated from my wife a year ago and lawyers use facebook to argue in court on custody of children. (THAT’S A FACT.) So posting up my every move was a way to document that I was a single father out there working his tits off to feed his kids. 


You wanna’ do what I do? Get some gear and go do it.  Learn how to shoot a camera and go take on scores you can handle. Don’t tell me you want to learn but put family bbqs, partying, girls and other crap in front of it. 


With that said, I’ve been doing the same thing I was doing 4 years ago. Only now I’ve trimmed the fat. I have kids to feed and have to figure out how to continue doing what I love to do on a grander scale. Your money problems are not my problems. I’m not obligated to put you to work. I’m not obligated to come “hang out,” with you at some bar. I’m not obligated to do anything but be me. You want to find me: I’m at the office, in the park with the kids, on a business call, looking for a business loan, searching for a building to open a gym in, listening to music, playing the guitar,working out, planning a birthday party, doing laundry, researching the latest trends of my trade, and with a little luck finding time to write my next film.


I was in a relationship for seven years where every move I made, every decision I stuck to and every dream I had was scrutinized by people who fed on my failures. Everything I did  was “aiming too high,” or “ignorant to do with kids,” so forgive me if for now I’m catching up on some ME time.


And as far as, “Garrick promised me this?”......


I didn’t promise you anything. I said, “Hey, I’m gonna go do this. You want to go?” It was up to you put forth the effort to keep up because as “arrogant” as it sounds, unfortunately I can do it without you. I would appreciate a little less judgement as to why Garrick is being a “dick.” I’m not a dick. Just living my life and doing it my way. You wanna’ spend sometime with me, put your work boots on and find me.



Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Raw Truth in Austin

So here is my assessment of the ever "overhyped" SXSW film festival. Pretention runs amuck even worse than the other Geek/Pretention Circle Jerk in Utah. This festival has to be, (and this an honest opinion from a guy with all access, not a disgruntled dude who hasn't blown anybody therefore has not been able to do anything,) the biggest cluster duck I have ever had the misfortune of being crewed for. There is no access to anything..... Even the poor naive peeps who pay $1250 for what they call the "Platinum Badge," that well, gives them absolutely nothing but a lanyard get nothing but a slim chance to see something maybe cool.


In order to see a film, even with full access you have to get in line at least 2 hours in advance which kinda' sucks considering you are missing the countless 20 minute "panels," IPAD 2 giveaways at the trade shows and the buffet line that is completely impromptu'd at the Microsoft Booth. The week is jammed packed with a bunch of great stuff you will never see and while your recent purchase of your faggedy ass IPAD 2 at the Apple Store on Congress pre-installed with your bloated interactive SXSW schedule, may help kick you in the face showing you that you've missed a great band that is playing this minute in a bar that is a 30 minute walk away, it gives you nothing but an impossible curriculum to a damn near impossible festival that only has one certainty.... It ends on Thursday at 6pm sharp and YOU will head back to the Austin Airport unfulfilled and $7000 poorer than you were. (You should have gone to Vegas. You may have had a better chance there.) 


But no worries.... It will give you an excuse to get rid of those pretentious Chuck Taylors you bought just to look cool at the show because you will have to have some room in your suitcase for all the un eco friendly brochures and magazines about nothing you collected or better yet, the plastic footballs, usb sticks, and stupid little green cubes you can do nothing with and will be trashed once you get home and realize you have just been takened for a whole lot of money that you could have just bought the technology these AHOLES just spent whacking  your ears off about. 


Tweets mean shit people.... Nobody cares... I thought it was cool too for about 5 hours.... Then I realized I'm nobody.... I'm a nobody who paid $3 for a bottled water, $50 for a steak, and couldn't even get a schedule being a camera geek paid to shoot the "events," of SXSW? Events? What events? I missed them all running around trying to catch one of them. You can tweet "@SXSW" all you want, it doesn't give you access to the movies, music or anything else. It gives you nothing but the idea that you are connecting with a bunch of other "people like you," and you are right. You are connecting with people like you..... The lost souls like me that think that "tweeting" is some form of being cool or "being in." Newsflash..... Gotten you no where but made the people behind SXSW fucking millionaires. Like a Fan Page of some new hosting server and get some discount you're never gonna' use. Get on that email list so you can get SPAMMED some more in one of your seven email address accounts. I especially like the ones who call themselves "CREATIVE DIRECTORS" or better yet, "CEOS" yet their email address is "fiascoproductions@gmail.com." You are a CEO and have no dedicated email.... ? Ol, wait, you don't even have a site for your so called business, yet you do have a great business card that you are putting in a jar to win a free Tshirt? You tweet about some business so you could get a Dos Equis and think you are cool.... ? This my friends IS "being cool." This my friends is being one of the "lucky ones" at a "film festival." .... Seriously, no thanks.   Call me Charlie Sheen as I bite the hand that feeds me but all this week is is a money pit for people who think they are a "part of something." You aren't. You are a nobody. 


Just like me. You are the dumb ass behind me in the line who's getting ready to be told you don't have the "pink pass," therefore cannot enter. You are the guy who too will be forced to spend ten dollars on a grilled cheese and soda. You too are the guy who will run your phone battery out tweeting about meeting Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows like me and realize it didn't make a crap box difference to anybody.... But then in two weeks when the aura is gone you'll spend two weeks unsubscribing to all those companies and movies that promised you Ipad giveaways, backpacks and God knows what else and you will also realize that you are no closer financially to buying anything that you saw there... 


But you'll be able to talk about what you saw and act like somebody cool talking about "the new gear you've seen and used".... And I guess that to you will be priceless....  To me.... Means nothing as does the technology.... Because if you don't know how to use it, it all means "nothing," just like this festival, my small to nil paycheck and the aura of trying to be cool does.



Retweet this useless tirade: @SUXSW using the hash tags #gonad #tweetdick #facedoushe


Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

Shooting 24/7

    follow me on Twitter

    About Me

    My photo
    I shoot stuff. I edit stuff. Period.

    The Junk Pile