Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Chapter Four - The Diet Plan - Nine Years To Live(Commentary)

I have my mother’s metabolism. She’s as skinny as a rail and could eat three double cheeseburgers without so much as a fart... But even with her heredity I manage to push the limits of fatness. I took my “luck” for granted for many years even in conversation sometimes bragging that I couldn’t gain a pound. And yes, I should be 60 pounds over weight or more with what I did to my body from 1992 - 2010 but somehow am only about 27 pounds over instead. If I wouldn’t have done anything it would have only been a matter of time.


The way I managed it... Simple.... I did nothing and ate and drank everything.


There were “glutten pockets” everywhere. The Movies, fuhgeddaboutit- Large Coke, Large Popcorn. Guys night out- Beer, Hotwings, Artichoke Dip. Dinner Out - Biggest Steak on the menu, fries, Blue Cheese dressing on the salad.


It never failed. If I was hungry on the go, Frito Lay chips and coke. When the kids wanted McDonalds I almost got excited that I’d get to smash an extra value meal super sized.


When I was on the road, it was the biggest meal possible when I could eat to tide me over through the 16 hour day shoots and sometimes more. I ate and it always the biggest portion the establishment could give me.


I hated pills. You would be hard pressed to get me to take an aspirin unless it was in powder form. There was a reason I hated them which i will not share in this memoir but let’s just say, I detested them like a sickness. I would with ease be able to get Adderalls through my doctor. I hated them too, but found when I took them, I would transform into a one track beast if I was in front of an editing bay, so when big edit jobs came along a trip to the doctor and a 120 count of Amphetamine Salts was nabbed to “get me through.” When I was on these monsters, I wouldn’t eat at all.... Literally. In fact, I would wait and eat one big meal usually thirty minutes before I went to sleep.


(The digestion would dull the Adderall edge enough for me to fall asleep.) It was horrible. I lived atrociously and my diet was a disgrace. Days and Nights I would sit in front of that edit bay for 14 hours sometimes more and drink a two liter of Coke, chew on sunflower seeds and stuff tobacco in my mouth. And smash a Whopper Value Meal at 12:30am at night. That was my diet.


When the job was done, I’d flush the Adderalls that were left over. There would be a two day hangover that rendered me dead for 48 hours. The worse feeling in the world and I would normally time the “wean off,” for days when the kids would be with their Mom because I was almost worthless literally during the “detox.” That third day, I would feel like a million dollars but would binge on food, sweets, and soda to make up for the 8 day famine I had done to my body just days before.


All the while the kids ate what was easy for me.  Chicken Nuggets, Burgers, Pasta, and Pizza. Everything was cooked, (some of it from scratch,) some of it “quick dinners.”


I hated myself as I got bigger and bigger over time. I stayed in denial as I got bigger. I swore I still “looked good” despite being very self conscious about the sags and “bitch tits,” that were forming. Yet with all that, my health was the least of my concern.


Upon the beginning of Project Nine Years To Live, I knew I would not only have to change my ways, but worse, somehow retrain the kids to eat better. That was to be the challenge. There was no question that talking to a professional Health Consultant would be my first step.


Lisa Kemerait was my only choice. She had been a vegetarian since she was thirteen and had saved her own life by becoming very aware of “good health.” She was brilliant and better than that, a friend of mine.


Here is ten minutes of our meeting. It is very minimally cut but the information she gives about Diets and Diets for Children is very insightful.


 I left there overwhelmed. I didn’t feel my kids would go for any of the changes.


And I was right. Three nights in a row, they turned their nose up to a healthier dinner. I tried everything. (They did enjoy the honey Cheerios approach.) See below.


I thought maybe I would wean the new diet on little by little. Maybe try one night a week for a bit and slowly add days.


I ditched a day at work to spend all day at the grocery store.  I looked at everything and bought the healthiest “kid friendly food” I could find, exchanging bi-product hot dogs for the Kosher ones, Tyson’s Kid Nuggets for frozen, (but raw,) Chicken Strips with breading separate-- Just to state a couple.


I felt proud of myself until I got the bill and my grocery budget had soared an extra $70 dollars with the change.


My first thought: No wonder America is overweight. They can’t afford to be healthy or at least eat it. Nonetheless, the trick worked. The kids and I were eating a meat, vegetable, fruit every night.


That was enough for me to figure out that re budgeting for a healthier lifestyle would have to be a must at this point.


With all the elements in place, it was time to get this fat ass in shape....


Posted via email from Diary of A Shoot Stuff Guy

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